Fire in the Akatsuki!
by Gingerawesomeness
Summary: What happens when a angry tempered, red headed girl named Kasai gets plucked from our world, and spat out into the Naru-verse, to find herself facing the Akatsuki? A lot of weird situations, thats what! OOC and Crack!
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

Hey- this is my first attempt at writing a fanfic, I hope you guys like it and I really hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Also feel free to PM me or leave it in a review, any mistakes or constructive critcism. All of the fanfic is really OOC but I tried to make it as funny as possible!

Disclaimer- I do not own, or claim to own, any characters of Naruto, or any Plot of Naruto!

So Lets Begin-

Akatsuki POV

They heard footsteps, and then a voice dripping with malice. They all froze and then turned around to see one very pissed off, red headed girl, Deidara looked at the clock and started to tremble

"G-guys l-look what t-time it is"

The clock read 7:00am. Half of the men backed off slowly, the other half retreated quickly. This was until the girl angrily screamed out

"STOP" with enough volume and anger to make them all stop on the spot, dead still.

"Why the HELL am I awake BEFORE 12."

Pein's POV

I woke up with a start already getting prepared to yell at whoever had made that indescribably loud noise; I looked at my bedside clock and sighed, 7:00am. It was at that point I realised it was quite, way too quite. For the past year, ever since she got here, I had been woken up morning after morning. You see her bedroom is on the other side of the base, so after that first dreaded morning, the other members had taken to doing their morning activities on this side of the base. Ahhh that first morning, how well I remembered it.

-Flashback-

I had gone to wake up our new member to drag her into one of our early morning meetings. The guys followed after me, placing bets on what kind of pyjamas she wore. I leant over her and shook her shoulder, as the guys waited.

"Lazy bitch"

"Maybe she's dead un"

"TOBI HOPES NOT SEMPAI, TOBI LIKES THE NEW GIRL"

"SHUT UP TOBI"

*smack

"Ow senpai that hurt"

"Do you think she's dead" "**Can we eat her"**

"Hn"

"Do you know how much funerals cost, because if you don't I can tell you this, she won't be getting one"

"Shut up" I growled as Kisame opened his mouth to comment. Slowly she opened her eyes, next thing I know she punched me in the jaw and rolled over. Cussing I jerked back, there was a shocked silence.

"Sempai why did the girl hit leader-sama" all Tobi got in return were icy glares, and another smack from Deidara. Before I could kill her, I saw something happen; slowly I saw Hidan get an evil glint in his eye as he thought about the words I had just spoken, he whispered to Deidara who nodded.

"We have an idea"

said Hidan as Deidara walked into the bathroom, I glared suspiciously. When Deidara came back out, in his hand he had a glass of icy cold water. None of us realised how much trouble that single glass of water would cause. He tiptoed over to her as Hidan contained laughter, the other guys were smirking and Sasori even let out a little snicker. Deidara then poured the glass of water onto her head, never in my life had I seen anyone move so fast. The next thing I see is Deidara on the ground with the girl on top of him, and I have to put it this way, mauling him. Deidara was swearing and yelling.

"GET HER OFF ME UN"

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, WHY THE HELL DID YOU POUR WATER ON ME YOU ASSHAT"

"SOMEONE GET HER OFF ME"

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY, TOBI WILL HELP SENPAI"

It took five of the guys to pull her off. Hidan was all for sacrificing her but we stopped him, as this one small figured girl had just taken down a fully trained shinobi, over a glass of water. She was strong as that was a feat even fully trained shinobi would have struggled with.

-Flashback Over-

From then on in the mornings the guys stayed on this side of base. I got up determined to find out why it was so damned quite.

Sasuke's POV

I watched in confusion, one minute I had been fighting Itachi, in the Akatsuki base and the next minute a girl had come out and started demanding an explanation. What the hell is wrong with these people? I had finally gotten to killing my older brother, something I had dreamt about since I was little, and some red haired chick stops the fight, well this is so not on. I put effort into this dammit, my hair was brushed perfectly (do you know how much gel it takes to get it to sit like this?!), my clothes were ironed, my lucky Orochimaru fan club undies were on….. I was the one who was going to get a damned explanation.

"And who are you?"

The girl froze; she obviously hadn't noticed me before. She turned towards me and glared icily, I don't care as I am a possessor of the famous Uchiha glare. Pfft this girl probably isn't even trained.

"Maybe I should ask you that, seeing as you're the one who is in the base even though you're not a member and you're PROBABLY THE PERSON WHO WOKE ME UP AT SOME RIDICULOUS TIME IN THE MORNING!"

Man she looked angry. I'm starting to wonder if this was a good idea, but then I thought about what Itachi had done., I had to get my revenge, look at him standing there all cool and collected, with his glossy black hair, and long girly eyelashes I had dreamt of possesi…. Err where was I.

"Get out of my way"

"What did you just say to me?" she said in a dangerous sounding whisper. I looked at my brother, he and his friends were standing there half interested, half amused and maybe a little scared.

"I said get out of my way dobe"

Akatsuki POV

"I said get out of my way, dobe"

"Oh no he didn't, un"

"The psycho bitch is going to kill him"

"How much money do you think I'd get if a videotaped this and then sold it?"

"Hn"

"No one knows what that means, un"

"Ten bucks on the ginger"

"You're on fish face, I reckon little shithead could take on psycho bitch"

"I don't know she looks mad, un"

"Yeah but he has the creepy ass Uchiha eye shit"

"What did you say about our sharingan?"

At this Sasori fell on his knees,

"It's a miracle he can speak in English!"

"TOBI IS PROUD OF ITACHI"

Itachi glares at Tobi. Tobi faints.

"Shhhhh she's about to attack" "**Can we eat the loser**"

We watched in awe as she jumped on Sasuke and started attacking him, with as much might she could muster.

"DON'T. YOU. EVER. WAKE. ME. UP. AGAIN. YOU. LITTLE. BITCH."

Apparently the strain of having a girl on top of him was too much for his hormones and he got a nosebleed and passed out.

"Pay up Hidan"

"Screw you fish face"

"Your little bro couldn't handle her Itachi, un"

"WHO THE HELL WAS THAT!"

Kisame was the only one to answer,

"It was Itachi's little brother, Itachi killed his whole clan but left Sasuke alive, out of love of course."

Itachi glared at Kisame, while the girl responded

"Sasuke looks different in person."

Everyone ignore this little piece of information as Kisame just kept speaking.

"And Sasuke has wanted to kill Itachi ever since."

"Oh I wonder why." She answered sarcastically.

-Chapter end-

Thank you for reading- Gingerawesomeness


	2. Chapter 2

Second Chapter- I really like this one!

Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own naruto.

CHAPTER 2

Pein's POV

I walk in to see Itachi's younger brother unconscious on the floor, with blood coming from his nose, a still woozy Tobi, an annoyed Kasai and a nervous Akatsuki.

"What Happened?"

I say in my most intimidating voice.

Deidara was the only one to answer me,

"Well, un. Sasuke came here to fight Itachi but he accidentally woke up Kasai-san so she jumped on him and he got a nosebleed and passed out, un."

"Well than I want you to clean him up and deliver him back to the leaf village."

"Didn't he desert the leaf village, un?"

Damn it, this early morning crap is screwing with my head, how could I forget he deserted.

"So he did."

Hmmmm I wonder what konans doing…..

-10 minutes later-

Pein that is off topic, remember Sasuke UNCONSCIOUS, right, what can we do with him, I can't send him to the leaf village, I suppose we could just ditch him somewhere.

"Okay here's what we're going to do; Itachi, Kisame I want you to take Sasuke and ditch him somewhere,"

"Hn"

Itachi looks half mutinous at this, but I glare him down LIKE A BOSS, Pein, off topic AGAIN.

"Hn"

"Itachi says ok"

"Thankyou Kisame for the translation"

"Do we have to ditch him" "**He looks tasty**"

"Yes we have to ditch him"

"Fine" "**I HATE YOU ALL**"

I glare at Zetsu

"Now I want the rest of you to calm down,"

I look at Kasai

"And get to the meeting room within 15 minutes, or else I'll make sure that your pathetic lives aren't worth living."

Tobi gulps.

Kasai's POV

*sigh* ok Pein I understand what you're trying to say BUT THAT ASS WOKE ME UP, deep breaths Kasai, deep breaths. I turn to face Leader-Sama.

"Ok Leader-Sama"

I start to walk towards my bedroom but Kisame grabs my arm,

"That was amazing Ginger bitch, I made ten bucks off of Hidan." He chuckles and I laugh, a manic grin spreads across my face as I imagine Hidan handing Kisame ten bucks because of me.

"Awesome, Im'a go get changed before the meeting"

He glances down at my rainbow unicorn pyjamas, that Tobi gave me as a '5 days without Kasai-Chan hitting me present', and chuckles again.

"That's probably a good idea."

I grin and walk to my cramped, somewhat strangely decorated, room. Seeing as I'm still not an official Akatsuki member, and I'm also still not fully trained *Sad faces* I don't have to wear an Akatsuki cloak, which is good on hot days like today. So instead I chuck on a pair of denim shorts and a pink t-shirt with black splots on it. I finish it all off by wearing a black and pink belt, with black converse. Even with pink on, I still feel pretty damn badass. I laugh as I remember how I ended up in this situation, wearing the very same converse I am now. I don't remember much, I know I didn't even live in this universe? Reality? Naru-verse? I don't really know what to call it, anyway-

-Flashback-

It was a prank gone wrong, because apparently my friends think to themselves, hey you know what would be funny, locking Kasai in an abandoned hospital, where a mad scientist is known to live. Obviously after the guy jabbed me with a random needle and I passed out, something happened. Something very strange.

I woke up, opening my tired eyes after what felt like days of sleep, all around me I see large trees, and feel cool, damp grass on my back. I was in a fricking. Forest.

What. The. Hell.

I picked up my backup, which contained a single change of clothes, for my supposed 'sleep over' and kept walking. I remember laughing at myself, thinking about how much this sounded like one of the Naruto fan-fics I read, I remember thinking, that at any second now Deidara was going to pop out of a bush and kidnap me. I was laughing, completely off guard. Well it wasn't Deidara, it was Hidan, and he didn't pop out of a bush, he jumped out of a tree.

*sigh* it's still cheesy…. Anyway Hidan tried to knock me out, while muttering something about what a great sacrifice I'd make. I looked up at the violet eyes and said something that shocked me nearly as much as it shocked him,

"Hidan what the hell are you kidnapping me for bitch?"

And that's when his fist finally connected with my skull, and I passed out again. I didn't know it at the time, but that sentence saved my life. When I woke up I was in a plain bedroom, which is now my normal bedroom.

I was thinking about what I'd said to my kidnapper. I decided that I wasn't dead yet because they wanted to know why I called some random dude Hidan. I know it was they because I could hear more than one voice outside the door. Suddenly a tall man with lots of piercings walked in. He was wearing an Akatsuki cloak. I had already decided that I had nothing left to lose.

"Nice cosplay, did you get all the piercings just to look like Pein?"

He gave me a WTF look.

"How do you know me and Hidan's name? What other information do you have on us?"

"On the Akatsuki?"

"HOW DO YOU KNOW OUR NAME, YOU AREN'T EVEN SHINOBI!"

"Okai…. Someone needs to calm down on the Naruto, I know a great psychiatrist."

He glared at me and pulled out a Kunai.

"Are those even legal?!"

"OF COURSE THEY'RE LEGAL, WE ARE SHINOBI. NOW WHAT OTHER INFORMATION DO YOU HAVE ON THE AKATSUKI!?"

He held the Kunai to my throat. Of course being a person who has a slight aversion to you know, DYING, I gave him all the info I had.

"Um, well. You only have one female, Konan she has blue hair, and uses paper as her weapon. You have nine guys, Kisame whose part shark and has a giant kick ass chakra stealing sword, Deidara who has mouths on his hands that make exploding clay, and AH-MAZ-ING hair. Sasori who's a puppet and expert on poisons, he also got killed by a pink haired cow. *glower* Kakuzu who has 5 hearts and is obsessed with money. Hidan is a crazy immortal cussing Jashinist, who has a three bladed scythe. Zetsu, he has split personalities and can morph through the ground, he is also a cannibal, well not really but you get the picture. Itachi, he has the sharingan and his little brother Sasuke wants to kill him so he ran off and joined up with oro-bitch the pedo snake. Tobi, who is secretly Madara Uchiha but acts like a 4 year old and always, wears his swirly lollipop mask. And finally, uh, you Pein. I don't really know much about you except that you're the leader of the Akatsuki and have seven bodies or some shit….."

I trail off. Pein who I realised half way through the speech was actually THE Pein leader of the Akatsuki, seemed a bit shocked.

"Where did you get this information?"

"Well this is a bit hard to explain, you see, I come from a different world and there, um do you guys know what a TV is?

He looked at me like I was dumb,

"Yes, we have four of them."

"Oh, well in my world, we have this TV show called Naruto, and all you guys are in it."

"Oh."

And just then the door broke down.

-Chapter End-

Thanks for reading, and please review! Good or bad!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer- I wish I did own Naruto, but I don't, anything you recognize, I don't own

CHAPTER 3

Akatsuki's POV

Hidan was pacing back and forth, cursing under his breath.

"What's wrong, un?"

"Nothing you girlie blonde asshole."

Deidara raised his eyebrow, While Kisame gave Hidan a 'Do you think we are seriously that dumb.' Look.

"Pein has been in there too long with the bitch, what if he killed her? She was my sacrifice to Jashin, and I was looking forward to it dammit."

"She has information on us, un. Someone getting a bit attached to the girl? Just because she called you a bitch? You always were into that un?"

Deidara smirked; this was his payback for the blonde thing. Hidan aimed a punch at his head, and swung hard but Deidara ducked down quickly, a grin on his face, while Hidans' hand hit the door instead, causing it to fall over with a loud bang.

Pein's POV

This girl was interesting, very interesting. She knew of us but wasn't scared. She obviously wasn't a threat. I was just about to ask for her name when the door came crashing down

"Who broke the door down, tell me NOW."

I said while glaring at them, Hidan gulped. Heh, caught red-handed Hidan.

"Well then Hidan, you have just volunteered yourself to show, err what is your name?"

"Kasai"

Hidan grinned, and Deidara chuckled at the statement.

"Fire, suites your hair bitch."

I expected Kasai to look sad or offended, but instead, she laughed

"You don't know how many times I have heard that."

And then suddenly her mood changed

"Don't call me bitch again."

Hidan raised a single silver eyebrow at the girls statement.

"Anyway, as I was saying, Hidan you are to show Kasai around the base, AND you cannot injure her in any way or sacrifice her."

"But I-"

"GO NOW."

No one disagrees to my leader voice, when I use my leader voice they be my bitches. MY. BITCHES.

"Um, Leader-Sama"

"Yes Kasai"

I say with a stern voice.

"You do realise you said that out loud right?"

"I don't know what you're talking about" *Pointed look*

"Yes Leader-Sama"

Thank god Hidan had gone ahead of her. What was I going to do with her? She had information so I suppose we should keep her here. She's untrained so I won't make her an official member; yes it would be way too dangerous to send her on missions in case she got captured. So I won't send her on any missions. She'll get bored staying here, we won't train her, and we'll have her guarded, so it will be difficult to escape. Still the akatsuki's top priority won't be to guard her, I'm pretty sure that if she really wanted to escape she would. I wonder if she can cook…. Hell anything's better than Kisame's cooking; I'm getting sick of calamari, just because he has a grudge against tentacles. Ok she can do the cooking and um, the shopping. Yes if I send her with some of the guys that will be ok, plus the guys are getting sick of having to buy (steal) Konan's 'Girl Products' *shudder*. Ok that's what she can do. I must say Pein, working all of that out in a matter of minutes, I'm impressed. You are THE MAN Pein. Seriously go eat some chocolate as a reward or something. *Grins*

Kasai's POV

I was walking around the base with Hidan. He was very talkative. He had said many things; this was his speech, down to the last detail

"Bathroom, Kitchen, my room keep out, your room, goodnight."

So I sat in the same room that I had woken up in earlier today. I looked around and decided it was a bit plain, a bit boring, minus the whole door being broken down thing. I decided to go to sleep, but first I wanted a shower. I made my way to the bathroom, pyjamas in hand. I locked the door and stepped into the bathroom. I have never seen so many different products, Hair Gel with 'Hidan's' written on the side and bloody fingerprints all over it. Blue hair dye boxes sitting in the bin. A nemo toothbrush next to watermelon lollipop flavoured toothpaste. A hair brush with a pattern of dollar bills around the handle, piercing cleanser, paint remover. Strangely there was nothing in the bathroom of Deidara's, I WILL FIND HIS MYSTERY SHAMPOO! I hop into the shower, and the warm water washes away all the dirt from the forest and the smell of hospital that was lingering on my skin. I reach for my towel, damn it I didn't bring one. Just then there is a knock on the door

"Kasai-san do you have a towel, un. I brought one for you in case you didn't grab one; I'll just drop it in the door okay, un?"

"You're a life saver Deidei-Kun"

"What did you call me, I won't give you the towel un"

I walk over to the door laughing at his nickname that I had read so many times in fan-fics. I unlock the door and pull it open, just a little, he drops the towel in and I pick it up gratefully, lock the door and start to get changed, maybe hanging with the Akatsuki won't be that bad. If they even let me stay, I'm pretty sure Pein is still considering letting Hidan sacrifice me to Jashin.

"Oi, Blondie, you already trying to perv on the new bitch."

I hear Hidan yell out, maybe I'm wrong about the Akatsuki altogether, which knowing me, would be just my luck to get dumped with a group of psychopathic pervs. I sigh and make my way back to my room avoiding the fires that Deidara's explosions caused as he tried to kill Hidan. I lay down on my bed. I know they are having the meeting now that decides whether I live or die. I'm not really that nervous, probably because I'm tired. I drift quickly into sleep. The next morning I was woken by a cup of cold water- let's just say they learnt their lesson.

-Flashback over-

-Chapter end-

Okay I know there are a lot of flashbacks and I'm not that great at writing them, but I really want to have the basics explained in the first few chapters, and I try to keep them interesting! So please review and let me know what you think, good or bad!

Thanks for reading- Gingerawesomeness


	4. Chapter 4

New chapter, yay!

Disclaimer: If I owned naruto this would be plot, not a fanfic xD

I also do not own MLP or anything else you recognise.

CHAPTER 4

Kasai's POV

I make my way to the meeting hall, mulling over my last year with the Akatsuki. It has been pretty boring other than a few brawls and drunken missions. Has it really been a year? I don't think it has been that long, surely it couldn't have been. I check the calendar (yes we have a calendar DEAL WITH IT). Yup it has been exactly a year, I can tell because someone cough* Tobi cough* had drawn in orange sparkly pen 'KASAI'S AKATSUKI BIRTHDAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY KASAI-CHAN, TOBI WUVS YOU'.

Yeah time flies when you move in with a criminal organization filled with hot guys. Wait- Hot guys? Brain, stop that. You'll make us both awkward. I walk into the meeting room, I'm the last there earning a glare from Pein. I sit in my usual seat between Deidara and Sasori.

"Alright everyone, I called this meeting, because Kasai has been here for one whole year."

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY KASAI-CHAN TOBI MADE YOU A PRESENT"

"Err thanks Tobi" I say as I hold up the white top with lollipops on it and the big words that read 'TOBI WUVS YOU, BECAUSE TOBI IS A GOOD BOY.' I have no idea how he fit that much writing onto it, but he did. The reactions from the other members were less extreme. Hidan sat laughing at my shirt, Kisame flashed me a thumbs up, Konan grinned at me and mouthed 'Girl Power', Pein nodded all chill and leader like, Kakuzu continued counting money, Zetsu said

"Happy Birthday" "**I don't care**"

And Itachi just Hn'd at me. Then the two people who I'm closest to in the Akatsuki gave me their reactions, Deidara grinned and gave me a big high five and Sasori gave me his trademark, that cheeky smirk of his. Pein gave a secretive look to all of them. That's strange…

"This means, as we decided last year, we will review how she has done in the Akatsuki with her duties of cooking and cleaning, and if we like her attitude, and could put up with her for any longer. This meeting shall decide her fate."

He said this in an ominous voice but I had to try not to laugh. Hahahaa OH HA I've been on good behaviour all year, they haven't even seen my semi-crazy side yet. All of Pein's fate crap, I'm sure to stay.

"So I guess I'll see you in an hour or two?"

"Yes, Kasai, do not enter this room for any reason after this door is closed, ok?"

"Yes leader-sama"

I start to walk out and hear Kisame whisper

"Don't worry; we'll make sure you stay, no way in hell am I going back to cooking."

I wink at him and walk out, as I walk back to my room, I think of how plain and boring it still is even after a year, I think maybe I should spice it up a bit, all I need is some paint and dyes. They'll be in there for an hour at least. LET'S DO IT! I walk into the bathroom and look under the sink, perfect Konan's blue dye and Pein's orange dye; I grab it and sit it next to the bath. I then go into my bedroom and grab the bed cover and bring it into the bathroom. I wonder, if I run the bath and pour the orange hair dye into it and then sit my bed cover in it, will it dye the cover?

I decide to do it anyway. I let that soak and then skip into Sasori's room. I know where it is because he makes me clean it for him the lazy ass. I walk in and look around, there are puppets EVERYWHERE, no matter which way you look you see a puppet, unless it's at his pillow, and then you see a badly hidden copy of the movie Pinocchio. I look behind his door and find some paints. I decide on orange to match the bed spread. I'm skipping along the hall and see a bedroom door partially opened, I go in hoping it isn't too bad. It reeked of death and had blood stains all over the floor; you could tell that it belonged to Hidan. I open his drawer and see a bunch of t-shirts with the Jashin symbol on them. The deeper I got into the drawer the weirder things got, soon there were 'I love Jashin' t-shirts and then what looked like hand knitted sweaters, I take a closer look at one and see a note stuck to it,

'To my darling son, I hope it keeps you warm Buttercup. Happy Birthday- Love Mum.'

I giggle and dig deeper, right down the bottom of his drawer are three massive tubs of gold glitter. I take one and skip out of the room. I think I'll go into the next bedroom along; I open the door quietly not knowing what to expect. The first thing I see is lots, and lots of pink. I open the door further and inside it is full of 'My little Pony' merchandise, with flowers stencilled on the wall and a rainbow bedcover. I was starting to think Konan had gone insane when I saw a pair of shorts lying on the floor with Deidara's name on them.

"HOLY CRAP THIS IS DEIDARAS ROOM!"

I yell out loud, and then stop and listen in case anyone heard. As I start looking through his room, I realise that I may have over exaggerated his addiction to MLP, but then I open his cupboard. The cast of 'My Little Pony' later and I had found his flower stencil. Hmm ok well I've found a bit of stuff in the rooms I should probably try one more.

EENIE MEENIE MYNNIE MOE. It stops at the bedroom across the hall, I walk in and see piggy banks EVERYWHERE, this must be Kakuzu's. Now I'm not normally freaked out by piggy banks but when there are hundreds of them staring at your back as you look under a bed, it tends to make you a bit jumpy. All I could see under here was fluff and- HOLY WH- oh, just another piggy bank, I swear it came out of nowhere o.O Ah well it was worth it after all as I see a can of red spray paint. I crawl out from under the bed and see Kakuzu's laptop open on the finance page; I look a little closer and see another tab that's open, moneyluver202 .com I decide to have a little fun. I begin typing and I'm quite pleased with the finished result.

'Everyone I have something to tell you, I'm secretly addicted to yaoi, I know it may be awkward for you but I can't keep up the pretence anymore.

Yours Truly,

Kakuzu '

I laugh and hit send to all contacts. I decide I have enough supplies and head back to my room to dump the stuff. It's amazing what a girl who's high on life can do in ten minutes. When I get back into the bathroom my blanket looks pretty well dyed so I let the bath out and put it into the dryer (the blanket not the bath, silly) I then start to paint my room orange, I'm getting it all over my clothes and these are the only set that fit me properly anymore. Then I start throwing the gold glitter at the walls and it sticks to the wet paint. My bed cover is dry now so I spread it across the floor, I decide to leave Konan's dye off of it. It looks AWESOME. I strut into my room and start spray-painting the stencil onto the walls, cue more glitter. I walk down the halls while waiting for my room and bed cover to dry. Maybe I should cook lunch; hmm it's only 9am. Ok than I'll make breakfast instead. Seeing as it is my Akatsuki birthday I'll cook them some Banana pancakes.

Dammit we're out of bananas. Ok then strawberry pancakes instead. I start to mix the batter, humming a tuneless song which quickly turns into a song that I know but can't remover the name of. DAMN WHAT IS IT! Hm hmm hm hmmm hm hmm. I don't know the name of the song but apparently I know the tune! I start to hum it while pouring the batter into the pan. I finally finish cooking and stack all the pancakes onto a plate and drizzle them with honey, well all of them except four because I know Kisame hates it. I set it onto the kitchen table and do a random dance while singing as I head back to my room. I'm pretty impressed with my work as I set the cover on my bed and look at the orange glittery walls. Little did I know that the Akatsuki had come out of the meeting and a few members had followed me down the hall as I sang and danced.

END CHAPTER

I don't really like this chapter- It's sort of a filler, and I'm sorry if its bad- but if it is, please feel free to review it and let me know!

Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

Yay I updated! I try to put a chapter up once a week! Also I edited this while half asleep so yeah, also I don't own Naruto or anything else you recognise.

CHAPTER 5

"What happened to your room, un?!"

I jumped.

"You like it Deidei-Kun?"

I grin as I always do when I use that nickname, I know he hates it, not as much as he hates the nickname Barbie Girl though…Next walk in Hidan, Pein Konan, Sasori and Kakuzu.

"Kasai"

"Yes Leader-Sama"

"Where did you get your supplies from?"

"Um, they were just lying around the base?"

"Yeah, un. This looks like some of my stuff."

"Err"

"Did you go into my room bitch?!"

"Okay guys, I may have used some of your stuff, but look how good it is?!"

All I got was unimpressed glares.

" Here, Hidan your gold glitter?"

"Don't speak like that bitch; you never know when you're going to need this shit."

"Just remember it's the herpes of the art and craft world, Pein, your hair dye."

"It's not mine."

"Just take it leader."

"Fine, but I'm telling you-"

I cut in.

"Kakuzu your spray paint."

Just then Kakuzu got a phone call.

"Hello, mum?"

*muffled voice coming from phone*

"No why would you think that?"

*angrier muffled voice*

"Well I'm not."

*very angry muffled voice*

"I'M NOT LYING!"

*muffled yelling*

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

*muffled screaming*

"I'M NOT GAY OK."

*muffled voice*

"Bye mum, Love you to." -.-

By now I was on the floor laughing. Sasori leant over and showed Deidara and Hidan something on his phone.

"Coming out of the closet, un?"

"WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I'M GAY #$%!"

I ignore Kakuzu's yelling and continue handing back art supplies.

"Sasori, your paint."

"Don't go in my room when I'm not there again or I'll poison your crazy ass."

"Err, ok"

"Ok that's everyone's stuff back." I say and look at Deidara.

"Hang on, have you given Deidara anything back, I thought he said you had something of his?"

I go to reply to Sasori but Deidara beats me to it.

"Oh, err no, un, I was mistaken."

"Okay then, well I've got to go and finish my Pinoc- my puppet, finish my puppet."

Sasori shuffles out quickly. Next to leave was Hidan.

"Seeya bitches, keep outta my room or I'll sacrifice you to jashin you psycho bitch."

He grins at the thought of this and walks out.

And then Kakuzu left, muttering about the price of spray paint, and why people thought he was gay all of a sudden. Konan walks out dragging Deidara who was frantically mouthing 'Give it back later, un!' I wait for Pein to leave but he doesn't.

"Kasai, the reason we followed you to your room is that we decided your fate."

He says this in his impressive leader voice, that I have heard him practicing after brushing his teeth; leader-Sama is very hygienic.

"I'm staying right?"

"You are more than staying, Kasai from now on you are, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to regret this, you are an official Akatsuki mem-"

His little speech is cut off when I glomp him.

"THANKYOU, THANKYOU, THANKYOU, THANKYOU!"

He pushes me off, and I fall onto the floor with a heavy thud, I'm pretty sure I just broke my ass bone.

"I'm pretty sure you just broke my ass bone."

"Stop whinging. It was the guys who wanted you as a member, I was all for keeping you cooking, and cleaning."

I glare at him before my brain processes what he said.

"Hang on…. That means, I get to go on MISSIONS!"

"Yes, you will train with each of the members; here is your cloak and ring, which is Orochimaru's old one. Also, thank you for cooking pancakes; they have kept the boys quite for around five minutes, which I'm pretty sure, is a record."

And with that he walks out. I grin and throw my cloak on, I shove the ring on my finger as I'm walking up the hall. I decide to stop off in the bathroom to see what I look like with this stuff on. My hair hangs to the middle of my ribcage in all of its reddish orange glory. My eyes are a dull golden amber colour; I haven't looked at myself properly in the mirror for so long. The cloak just looks like an average black and red cloak on me, I don't seem to do anything special with it. Awww well you can't have everything, I run into the kitchen. The first person I see is Deidara, returning his plate to the sink.

"THANKYOU DEIDEI-KUN"

*SUPER GLOMP*

Deidara stumbles slightly, partly from the sudden addition of my weight, but mostly from shock.

"That's ok, un"

He puts me down and gives me a pat on the back

"You deserved it, and besides-"

"KISA-SAN EEEEEEEEEEE!"

*glomp*

"Umm hi Kasai?"

Just then I see Hidan walk through the lounge-room. He sees the look in my eye and turns around quickly, but it is too late. I tackle him while yelling

"HIDA-SAN"

"Get this bitch off of me."

The guys move to help Hidan but I spot Sasori walking past.

"CHAAAAARRRGGEE, THIS IS SPAAARRTTAAAA"

Sasori freezes, with a 'HOLY FLYING JARS OF PEANUT BUTTER' look on his face.

"Run before the psycho bitch gets you"

"RUN, UN!"

*TACKLE*

"SASORII I WANNA TRAAAIIINNN!"

"When did she get this insane?"

"I'm not insane; IT'S NOT NICE TO TELL LIES!"

I pout, flick his nose and run off. I go in search for other members.

"SENPAI TOBI WANTS TO PLAY!"

"TOBI, I'M GONNA HUG YOU!"

"KASAI-CHAN TOBI WANTS A HUG!"

"YAY"

*hugs*

"WHERES SENPAI, TOBI WANTS TO PLAY!"

"Senpai is in the kitchen"

"YAY, TOBI IS COMING SENPAI!"

I hear a loud 'oh crap' from the kitchen as Deidara registers what he just heard Tobi yell, Tobi continues yelling this as he runs towards the kitchen; I continue my member hunt, skipping into the office that I know Konan is working in.

When I look around the office door, I see that she is hidden behind a massive mound of paperwork, ranging from insurance bills, to junk mail. Its easy to sneak up on her seeing as she can't see me.

"KONAN-SAN, GIRL POWER"

She screams and jumps up knocking the paperwork off of her desk, kunai come flying at me but I hit the deck.

"Kasai you scared me."

I put on a creepy voice and tilt my head to the side

"I scare a lot of people"

I follow this up with a creeptacular stare and smile. Konan just looks at me, damn I guess its harder than I thought to creep her out.

"I'm just kidding around with you Konan, anyway I've still got to find Kakuzu, Zetsu, and Itachi."

"Why?"

I grin at her,

"I'm on an Akatsuki Hunt"

DUN DUN DUUUUNNN

END CHAPTER

Thank you so much for reading, and pretty please review! I love hearing feedback, good or bad!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that I do not own or claim to own Naruto or anything else you recognise!

CHAPTER 6

"An Akatsuki hunt, right…. Well you should get going then. You know….. to find the other members and stuff" Konan says while looking at me in a 'please leave my office right now' way.

Hehee this is too much fun, but soon I'll be a part of the team, no more screwing with their minds or freaking them out with random hugs. I'm going to have to actually get to know them. I mean of course I know a fair bit, from the bits I've seen in Naruto and what I've seen here but I don't spend much time with them. Yeah they like me, well enough to not kill me and to even let me join the Akatsuki for real, but I only hang out with the calmer nicer ones like Sasori and Deidara occasionally Kisame. Hidan scares me a little and Kakuzu is so quiet and dark. Zetsu's split personalities argue about me and Itachi isn't very social. Pein is busy and Konan is always working, so in my spare time, after I've finished cooking, shopping and occasionally vacuuming the hallways. I sit in my room and practice using chakra, or I draw, or sing and dance.

You see where I'm going; I only see how they interact with each other when they eat, which is a bit subdued (obviously because of my fabulous cooking) or when they are running through the hallways screaming at one another. I'll put it like this, ask me what their eating habits and basic information/personality are and I'll know the answer. Ask me their favourite movie/colour/animal and you'll have more luck getting the right answer from a brick wall. Although I have a suspicion that Hidan doesn't have a favourite animal due to the fact that I've heard him brag about sacrificing them to the 'almighty' Jashin.

Now how can I find Itachi-san. Hmmm he'll probably be reading a book somewhere, how about the lounge room. I peek around the corner of the lounge room and see him sitting reading a book, and now to draw him out. I grab the nearest thing which happens to be one of the books he left in a stack on the table. I grab it and peg it at him. He dodges it, that bastard. So I throw more at him and soon he climbs out of his chair and comes around the corner Sharingan blazing.

"HAHAAA ITACHI I MADE YOU GET UP" I yell while covering my eyes.

"Kasai, what is the meaning of this."

"To say thank you."

"For what."

I look at him which is hard to do with your eyes covered. *sigh*

"I used this amazing ploy, so I could thank you for letting me be an official Akatsuki member."

I was fairly sure it was safe now so I uncover my eyes. He was glaring at me. This of course ended up in us doing one thing.

Making out.

LOLJKS staring contest.

"Oh it's on Itachi, on like donkey Kong." In my mind all I can hear is western music as I get into my staring stance. He swaps into his.

"One blink and then we start."

"ONE"

"TWO"

"THREE"

We both blink and commence the stare off.

5 seconds in and my eyes start to tingle.

10 seconds in and they are watering.

15 seconds in and I can't see past the haze.

I blink,

"DAMN IT" Itachi smirks at me.

"Uchiha asshole."

I have a mini temper tantrum and (attempt to) break a vase on Itachi's head. I succeed on breaking the vase, just not on his head. Or any other part of his body, to be truthful just as I lifted my hand to break it on him, he put me in a headlock, and I dropped the vase in surprise.

"BAKA, do you have any idea how much that vase cost!"

Kakuzu comes charging around the corner, looking rather furious, while I look at the pieces of broken porcelain in dismay.

"Dammit that was meant for Itachi, how much did it cost? Was it a lot?"

He glares at me and I decide this is a good time to say thank you, I walk towards him slowly, and his eyes narrow in suspicion when I'm less than a stride away.

"HUGS!"

"No, no no no no, please no."

*hug* *sigh*

"Get off me."

"But you're so warm"

"The only reason I'm not killing you is because Pein banned us from it." He sighs in disappointment as he states this interesting piece of information.

"Hn."

"Jealous you didn't get one ita-chan?" I say with a cheeky grin.

He shakes his head at me and walks back to his reading chair.

"Seriously Kasai, get off."

"But"

"OFF"

He pushes me off of him and I fall over. I get up and glare,

"Seriously you're paying for that lamp."

"Whatever" I say in a nonchalant voice

I hear footsteps coming around the corner of the hallway, and I get prepared to strike,

"RAWR"

"Kasai, what are you doing."

"Err, scaring you leader-Sama, boo?"

"….I'm regretting banning the others from killing you."

"Sorry Leader-Sama, I'm going to go find our plant friend Zetsu now, do you know where he is?"

"Are you going to annoy him, because he will eat you."

"Err, no"

"Really?"

"No"

"Kasai."

"Fine fine, I won't annoy him then."

"Good, he is in his room."

"Thankyou Leader-Sama, time to annoy, err I mean infuriate? No, entertain Zetsu."

*sigh* "Kasai"

"BYE LEADER-SAMA"

Heh, this is fun, the weird wacky and wonderful things I get up to. I slowly approach Zetsu's door, I know it's zetsu's because I had to hide for cover in here when Konan was on her period, and Hidan called her a 'moody bitch'. So. Much. Swearing. Anyway I knock on the door and wait, and wait and wait, still no-OH MY MOTHERF-

Zetsu morphs out of the ground right under my feet, scaring the living daylights out of me.

"ZETSU YOU SCARED THE HELL OUTTA ME"

"Sorry Kasai" "**What do you want.**"

"What I want, what I really, really want?"

"**Yes what you-**"

"I REALLY, REALLY WANT A ZIGGY ZIG AHH"

"…"

"Err, thank you Zetsu for letting me be a member?"

Zetsu blushes lightly, well on the white half anyway. I laugh and clap my hands together excitedly

"Yay my Akatsuki hunt is over!"

I guess that means it's time to start training…..

-Chapter End-

Okay so I didn't really adore this chapter or the one before it, so feel free to tell me what you thought by reviewing! That reminds me almost 300 views! That means so much but I would really love to get at least one review for this chapter! So thanks for reading and let me know what you think! Good or bad!


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own, or claim to own Naruto.

CHAPTER 7

I pant as my feet slap against the hard brown tree, already seeing and feeling the cracks from where I've pushed too hard on the trunk, and bruises on my body from where I have fallen for not pushing hard enough, this chakra control thing is hard work. Itachi is laid back on the grass leisurely reading a book, slack ass.

"You know you said that out loud, hn?" He states, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"Oh right…. Sorry Ita-chan." I let the Ita-Chan slip before I can stop it.

He glares at me as I start to push myself up the trunk again. I'm going well until suddenly I feel a hand yank my arm back hard and I fall on my ass. The Uchiha-asshat stands over me, glaring down with his red and black eyes. I shiver, that scare always puts a fright in me.

"Let's remember who the fully trained and deadly shinobi is here, and who the weak trainee shinobi is. Just for that comment you have to run 30 laps of the training ground..."

I stare at him in horror, and gulp, ITS MY FIRST TRAINING SESSION FOR JASHIN'S SAKE! DAMN IT I USED HIDAN LINGO.

"And you have to do it because leader-Sama gave me full control, and also, before you say that there is no point to running laps, besides perfect chakra control you will also need to be extremely physically fit. I can and will give you much worse punishments than laps if you say something so disrespectful again. Half of the shinobi would give an arm to be trained by expert fighters such as the Akatsuki, and I would suggest you be a little more grateful. Have you got that Kasai?"

"Yes Itachi." I state miserably and a little ashamedly as I get to my feet.

"Also after the 30 laps your training for today is over. Pein will be training you in basic Jutsu tomorrow. Do you understand?"

"Yes Itachi."

"Good now go do the laps." And with that he walks off.

I slowly get going, and figure that laps is an excellent time to get my thoughts straight. I've been stuck here for a whole year, and after the shock of it wore off I realised that until I found the person who did this, I was stuck here. I also know that the Akatsuki were dangerous, slightly insane and hilarious people to be with, and if other ninja's came I would be captured and jailed, or worse. I also wonder, that if once I'm trained, I could escape here, and leave to Konoha, were I know people like Naruto and Kakashi live, I mean how cool would it be to meet Kakashi! With his cool attitude and gravity defying hair, he's a total babe. Although I have lived with the Akatsuki for a year, and they are the only people I have, I've still been kept here against my will, and it doesn't feel very homely. I don't remember much about my old life, it's all sort of blurry and that worries me greatly. Once I'm trained and a member maybe I'll be accepted more and decide to stay with the Akatsuki, they are like a family, depending on each other after they got rejected by their villages, but I was never rejected, I just turned up in a forest.

My thoughts were slightly interrupted when I realize I haven't been counting laps. At all. I figure I've done thirty, which is a lot if you hadn't suddenly got chakra from being transported to an alternate universe… so I sit down on a nice patch of grass and continue my musing, I find this chakra thing very interesting, when I woke up I immediately felt a strange sense of power and ignored it, but over the months I stayed here, it grew stronger and I learnt that it was chakra and how to control it. Every day it grows stronger but it is still not as strong as people my age in this universe would usually have. Unfortunately.

With that final thought and my heart finally back at its normal pace, I get up and walk inside, and suddenly notice… it's very, very, quite. This is a rare occurrence, and I decide to take a nap quickly while waiting for the noise to start again.

I lay back on bed and close my eyes, and quickly fall asleep. I awake groggily, wait. Why am I awake? Why is something warm touching me, and WHY WHEN I OPEN MY EYES AM I UPSIDE DOWN AND MOVING? I start to struggle, until I hear

"Oh. Your awake." And that's when Kisame dumps me down onto the ground.

"Kisame! Ow! Mind explaining why you are CARRYING me, down the hallway?!"

"Well, really it's because Pein told us we couldn't drink tonight, because it wasn't a special occasion, and he wanted us sober in the morning because 'I've already had a long enough day putting up with you delinquent shits, to have to do it again tomorrow when you're in a worse mood' So we figured we'd make an occasion."

By now I'm on my feet behind him, trying to hide the fact that I'm jogging to keep up with his long strides. He opens a door and I walk inside the room, which is pitch black. I stumble and suddenly a light flicks on and

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY KASAI"

"Seriously. You're using my birthday as an excuse. I already had a birthday, remember." I say to Kisame after I recover from the shock, and tear my eyes away from the sight of Leader-Sama snatching a bottle of half chugged sake out of Hidan's grip.

"Well Kasai, that was your Akatsuki birthday not you're real one, by the way, we told Pein you were turning 18 so you can drink as well! Also you can't leave, or there will be punishments, we need you here so we can drink. Act happy, or else."

Cue huge fake smile, alcoholic beverage in hand, and a night which leads to the series of events, that cause me to become best friends with the Akatsuki.

-Chapter end-

Wow, I'm really sorry about this chapter, it is by far the least entertaining one,and I'm uploading it late. I really am going to try and work on three things!

The detail I put into the story

The relationships Kasai forms with the Akatsuki

The relationships between the Akatsuki themselves.

So feel free to review and tell me what else I need to work, how bad this chapter is, or anything else, even just to tell me that I'm an idiot. Any feedback is welcome!


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8!**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Kasai POV

I slowly drift into consciousness, my pounding headache waking me from the semi-comatose slumber I had previously been enjoying, a loud banging near my ear sent shards of pain through my head and my mouth felt drier than the Sahara desert. At least I'm warm I think to myself as I snuggle closer to the source of heat that is pressed against me. This source of heat then groans, my eyes flutter open and take in a (somewhat phenomenal) bare chest. I at this point also realise that the loud banging was in fact a heartbeat. The member of the male species which I had just woke up next to (who is yet to be identified by my early morning brain) then rolls over, successfully pushing me out of what I had previously assumed was my bed.

And that's when I realised. Not only was the unknown person in my bed topless, but I was in nothing but my bra and undies.

My shriek ran through my eardrums like hot needles attacking my head and making me cringe, while the man in my bed sat up with a start and said

"What's wrong, un?"

"Deidara, WHY THE HELL WAS I IN YOUR BED, IN UNDERPANTS!"

"Oh, so you don't remember un? *mutters* even better than we thought.."

"What did you just say Deidara? What don't I remember?"

I refrain from screaming at him, as my last bout of loud screeches had caused an even larger headache.

He smirked at me, that cheeky, cocky playboy smirk. His hair was tousled and messy, and I have to admit, shirtlessness suited him well. I knew I was in for trouble.

"Oh so you don't remember last night, you don't remember us, un?"

"What exactly do you mean by us?"

"Well to put it this way, I can't believe that was your first time."

I stare at him. Shocked. I did NOT sleep with Deidara. I wouldn't of? Would I? I mea he didn't say it, he implied it. To be fair he is to me, the nicest, and one of the most normal (read: hot) looking of the members, but still! I don't just go around sleeping with people?! Even if I was drunk, which I was reminded of as I moved into a sitting position and felt like a large man had repeatedly hit all of my joints with a whack-a-mole hammer.

"I did not sleep with you. No way, definatly not possible."

"Well it obviously is possible, and I think you might be surprised about some of the stuff you did last night. Let's just say, out of the types of drunk person you can be, you are definatly a flirty drunk un."

I did not sleep with Deidara; I did not sleep with Deidara?! Wouldn't I feel different? This is too much, but curiosity got the better of me.

"What sort of stuff did I do last nigh-"

I was interrupted by the sudden realisation that I was going to vomit. I dashed into the bathroom while Deidara sat looking amused. That bastard.

Deidara POV

To say this morning was the most fun I'd had in a while, was an understatement. I watched her dash into the bathroom, only covered in her grey underpants and bra, her hair tangled and frizzy, and I refrained from laughing. When I told her we'd 'slept together' her reaction was priceless, and I'm starting to think that the guys had actually got a good idea this time. Obviously I need to go and let her hear the stories from their perspective. I groan as I stretch, feeling my joints crack into place, I swing my legs over the edge of the bed, and get up, trying to un-knot my hair in the process. I hear the water running in the bathroom and figure that she's taking a shower, so I decide to grab an old t-shirt of mine that she can wear. I dump it onto the bathroom floor, resisting the urge to peek (I do have some morals, and you can't see inside my shower without opening the door) and wait patiently for her to come out.

Kasai POV

I get out of the shower and notice the large grey t-shirt left inside the door. I slip it on, over the top of my previously worn 'garments' if they can even be called that. There is no way I slept with Deidara, and I'm going to prove it. I walk out of the bathroom and see him standing there, still shirtless might I add, and grinning at me.

"I want to talk to the rest of the members"

"Kasai I want you to go hear what the guys say about last night, un"

We say, creepily in time with each other.

"Let's go then." I leave the room and head down the hallway, Deidara silently walking next to me, although no sound came from him, I could almost hear him grinning.

~-~-~-~-~ LINE BREAK-~-~-~-~-~

"There's our precious lil' bunny, how are you and lover boy this morning?" I stare at the giant blue fish man. Who had just put a shard of doubt in my 'I swear I didn't sleep with him' theory.

"You put on quite a show last night bitch."

"Yeah, you see, I'm struggling to remember last night. At all. So I was hoping that Itachi would fill me in."

Itachi glanced up from where he was sitting, we were all placed on the various couches in the lounge room, and so far no stories have properly come out. Although I was intrigued when Zetsu's dark side mentioned something about Sasori and a cactus, getting, engaged?

"Why would you want that shit head Itachi, you know I make a better story teller bitch, maybe we can re-enact some of what you did earlier this morning with Deidara."

He winked at me, and all the other members smirked to themselves.

"I want Itachi to tell me, because he is the least likely person to lie about it."

"I'm honoured Kasai, so yes I will fill you in. It started after Hidan dared you to have a drinking contest, one bottle of sake, first one to finish wins. Of course Hidan won but you got drunk. So there you were swaying about, grinning like a loon, when Kisame decided to play a game of truth and dare. I would go into the details but we have that part on video. At your turn you chose dare, so Hidan and Sasori, obviously dared you to get dressed up as a sexy bunny and dance."

"Wait, what?! A sexy bunny? And how the hell did I get an outfit for that? No way."

At this, Itachi pulled out a camera and showed a picture of me in a revealing bunny outfit. The guys high fived at the sight of the picture, which was confidence boosting in a sort of disgusting way.

"I still want to know which one of you weirdos had a bunny outfit."

"That'd be me bitch, and you can come use it in my room anytime you want"

"Hidan if you call me bitch one more time I swear to god I'm going to-"

Itachi interrupted-

"Anyway, you spilt your drink, and slipped on it, getting the outfit wet. So you took off your clothes and continued to dance around, hitting on anything with a pulse, including Konan. After a while you and Deidara were quite close, and went off to his room on a dare to have"

He glanced over at Tobi innocently eating cereal in the corner.

" Well, you know what."

I stare. I so didn't have, you know what, with Deidara. At least not on a dare.

"So if it was a dare, you would need proof that it happened or didn't happen. Is there any?"

"Well there is, on this camera."

I make a grab for it, knowing that it was the only way I could see if I had.

"Give me the camera Itachi."

"Ha-ha well here is the fun part!" Kisame said.

"You see Kasai, last night and today is a little initiation ceremony, or revenge for some of us. You see, with your little Akatsuki hunt, and smart mouth, weren't you surprised no one got revenge? Well this is our revenge. We got you drunk, made you do some really embarrassing and blackmail worthy things, and your job is to find out if the 'you know what' with Deidara is true."

I looked between all of the now grinning members.  
"GIVE ME THAT GODDAM CAMERA ITACHI"

"Hn, Kasai, you can have the camera, if you last the game of hide and seek. You see I will give you this camera, with all the evidence you need, if you can manage to not get caught in hide and go seek, for an hour. Also the other members will be playing properly, because if not punishment will be addressed by Pein. If you are ever the first member to be found in a round. You will never see this camera or its contents."

The other members were as surprised by this as I was, by the looks on their faces Itachi and Pein hadn't filled them in on this bit of information.

"You have one minute until I come to seek. I suggest you start to hide."

We all bolted out of the room, except Hidan who was mysteriously tripped up by something that looked a lot like Kakuzus' foot.

-End Chapter-

Ok, this chapter sort of sucked, because I didn't laugh once while writing it. I am going to try and add more humour while balancing it with more detail. Bleh it's hard though. So please review and I promise the next chapter will not suck ass as much.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

I race down a hallway, slightly lost with panic, and subconsciously barge into the room I normally use down this hallway. The bathroom.

"DAMNIT"

I whisper scream furiously while looking for a place to hide that would actually fool Itachi. No not in the bath, no not behind the shower curtain, won't fit under the cabinet, behind the door sucks. I look up at the roof in exasperation, hoping that an answer would pop into my head. Well an answer did sort of pop into my head, as I look up to see the faint outline of a man hole that gives access to the ceiling. I grin and climb on top of the toilet, balancing precariously on a stack of 'Villain Magazine' issues that Pein leaves near the toilet, hoping to give us members some inspiration. I use my upper body strength/tiny amount of chakra/luck to pull myself up into the ceiling, and checking that most of it was stable, crept over to the right side and sat down.

I noticed that the left side of the ceiling looked weak and the timbre looked a bit rotted. I would blame this on the amount of water Tobi splashes onto the roof during the dreaded struggle of shower time. At the same time I notice this I notice that I could

a. No longer hear Itachi counting and

b. I could however hear footsteps in the bathroom.

I hold my breath as they come closer to the toilet, and scoot backwards when I hear them climb on top of the toilet and slide the man hole open. I squeeze my eyes shut, kissing my hopes of getting the camera good bye, when I hear the whisper of

"What the hell are you doing in my jashin damned hiding place bitch."

"Hidan?"

I open my eyes and sure enough the silver haired jashinist is squeezing his way into the ceiling.

"Hidan what are you doing go away!"

"No way bitch, this is my hiding spot."

I notice that he's heading towards the left side, and well I decide to try and trick him.

"Please Hidan don't go over there, he'll see me first, come on Hidan please."

He grins at my begging, edges over to that side, and just as I hoped, plonked his ass down with a hard thud. This quickly turned into a creak, and then a giant crash, as he fell through the ceiling, and landed right on top of Itachi.

"Hn, I found you."

"No shit Itachi. Only because of that little-"

Hidan's growling rant was cut short when Itachi interrupted with

"She's up there?"

I figure this was time to make my exit as I jumped down, not into the bathroom as I expected, but into Kakazu's room, which was next door.

"You were lucky Kasai, hn? Same with you Kakazu I know you're in here. Come out of the closet, no joke intended." He smirked at this as Kakazu and I stood in the middle of his plaster dust covered room.

"Hell yeah it's my time to count bitches, your dead meat Ginger bitch."

I gulp. A normal Hidan is bad enough, but now a vengeful one?

Kakuzu and I share a competitive glance as we race each other out of the room, knowing Hidan would cheat and that Itachi will be fine hiding. Obviously because we're both idiots we run into the same room, to intent on our race to realise we could split up. I realised we were in Sasori's room as we both frantically searched the room for a spot to hide, hearing Hidans' footsteps and yells of hell yeah come down the hallway. Not to mention the sound of doors being kicked in, safely eliminating the hiding spot behind the door. As we hear him get to the door we both eye off under the bed. I dive in a split second before Kakuzu does and end up squished in between him and the wall. Hidan kicks the door in, and in a fit of idiocy, checks behind the door for a hidee? Hider? Whatever. Kakuzu and I both hold our breaths as he checks everywhere but under the bed, he goes to walk back around to the bottom of the bed when Kakuzu, that traitorous bastard, pushes me down so my foot sticks out. Hidan hasn't quite made it around to the bottom yet, so in a last ditch effort I whisper to kakuzu- "I sent an email to everyone saying that you're gay. It was me"

"YOU BITCH" He screams out, causing Hidan to whip around and grab the first foot from under the bed he feels, which unfortunately happens to be mine.

"NOOOOOOOOO"

"HAHA I got you bitch, feel the Jashin damned wrath! Woooo!"

Kakazu rolls out from under the bed laughing with malice in his eyes as he realises that my plan had backfired.

"I caught her, I caught her! Just in time too!" He screams this down the halls, still dragging me by the foot, giving me carpet burns on the way.

All the members meet in the meeting room, as you would suspect and gleefully discussed the unfolding of today's events. I sit dejectedly in a corner, nursing my injuries and glowering at anyone who talks to me. I stalk out of the room, and in a fit of pure anger at losing such a stupid game I smash the nearest thing I see, which happens to be a nice pot.

As I watch the pieces spread across the ground, I see something else, something black and shiny. I pick up the camera with a gleeful expression, suppress my cheers of joy, and run outside to hide in the forest while I look at the contents of this sleek mechanical bundle of truth. Although I was impressed with my luck, I also know that even though the Akatsuki are an evil organisation, they won't appreciate my cheating. I sit on a branch in a tree, impressed with Itachi's chakra control teaching abilities as turn on the camera, see the first picture, and realise I may have made a terrible mistake.

-Chapter End-

Thank you for reading as always! I enjoyed writing this chapter and would be happy if it got even one view! That being said if you do read this chapter and enjoy it/ hate it with a burning passion- please feel free to let me know via review, or even pm me with any suggestions!


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10**

Disclaimer for this chapter and the previous one- I unfortunately do not own Naruto, The Road to El Dorado, or anything else you may recognise.

I also am very sorry for late update, and possibly a shorter, not excellent chapter. I am however happy because, YAY 10 chapters! Double digits!

-KASAI POV-

No amount of training had prepared me to see Sasori in a wedding dress, a cactus in a tuxedo, and a weeping Kakuzu standing next to a Jashinist priest. I also wasn't prepared to see the next photo of Sasori and the 'Cactus' (I've never seen a cactus with black and white hands.) exchanging rings, and then the photo after of Sasori picking cactus spikes out of his bloody lips.

I also wasn't prepared for many more events that were to come in the next few clicks, especially when I discovered that the camera had video capability.

'IT'S TOUGH TO BE A GOD!'

I watch in awe as Pein continues in his Road to El Dorado karaoke, which he was using to explain his authority. He wasn't bad, mostly because he practiced this song on a regular basis. It was his drunk go to thing and honestly, he never remembers doing it. Making me, the girl who has this video, a powerful being.

Oh dear, now comes more crude and less dressed photos of the Akatsuki. Hidan stripping off his priest costume while Sasori strips of his dress. Me in the now famous bunny outfit, which surprisingly fits quite well, and even more surprisingly fits Deidara quite well too. I see Zetsu cheating at limbo, Itachi sneakily placing a chair behind Kisame so he would 'fall into his arms' (Wait, who's filming this?) The more I see the more I remember and it is getting quite amusing to know that while not recorded on the camera, Tobi managed to hug the 'pretty bunny' which Deidara, forgetting that he hated Tobi hugged him back. While wearing a bunny suite. I also remember Konan happily picking up an unconscious Pein, who had been knocked out by a flying bottle of sake that was 'THROWN WITH THE ACCURACY OF JASHIN! KYAHH'.

More memories of Tobi came flooding back- him making everyone's drunk meal;

"KISAME SAN TOBI WILL MAKE YOU YOUR PEANUT BUTTER NACHOS."

"SEMPAI TOBI WILL MAKE YOU YOUR VEGEMITE ON BANANA"

"PEIN TOBI WILL MAKE YOUR PANCAKES WITH SHRIMP"

"KASAI TOBI WILL FETCH YOU YOUR SALT AND VINEGAR CHIPS WITH SOY SAUCE."

"TOBI, TOBI WILL FETCH YOU YOUR LOLLIPOP."

Yup. We all eat some really weird drunk food. Not to mention Konan asked for Pein, but Tobi not seeing the sexual side of this request, very quickly advanced on Pein with a knife, and Pein very quickly knocked Tobi unconscious with a sake bottle 'THROWN WITH THE ACCURACY THAT ONLY A GOD CAN ACHIEVE'.

The suspicious thing about these photos was that I was with Deidara in almost all of them, sure we were friends, actually he and Sasori were my closest friends in the Akatsuki, but could this give the insane theory truth?

-AKATSUKI POV-

"Hey, does anyone know where Kasai-Chan is, un?"

"Yeah I haven't seen her for a while now…"

"Well fish face that's obviously because our little experiment smashed some shit up and then ran out into the forest."

"hn? Ran into the forest? Did you just forget to mention this? She could be in danger."

"Um Tobi thinks Itachi-san is right, Tobi thinks we should go find Kasai-san because Tobi is a good boy. Um... Um... Tobi will go find her. Yes."

"Hn Tobi, you sound nervous, you did hide the camera well, right?"

"Yes, yes Tobi hid the camera very well. Not in a pot, no, no way. Nothing smash able, Tobi just wants to make sure Kasai-san is safe."

"Very well, we'll go drag her sorry ass back to base. That obviously doesn't include me, your magnificent leader, because as a god I refuse to venture out when I have minions. Now GO"

The Akatsuki watched in awe as Tobi sped out of the room, at the speed of light and ran into the forest, frantically jumping from tree to tree, looking for a girl who really wasn't in that much anger.

"What's up with him un?"

"Obviously he's hiding something brat. Let's follow him."

-KASAI POV-

I sit in my tree, impressed with the contents of the camera thus far. I hadn't gotten to the Deidara part, but had seen some of the hilarious results of truth or dare. I now had a short film to watch that would reveal if I slept with him or not, when I heard screaming of my name coming from a certain, very loud, Jashinist. I hop down from the tree, and then start to run when suddenly I'm tackled into a bush by a blur of orange.

"Tobi get off of me."

"Sorry Kasai-san but Tobi needs the camera or Tobi goes boom. Sempai will be very mad at Tobi if he finds out that-"

"That's too late un."

Deidara grabs a now crying apologising Tobi and tries to snatch the camera out of my hand. Quickly I flip out the one thing I have to help me. A device that will save me from all of this. Itachi's tablet which I stole while leaving base, the tablet that I had downloaded all the photos and videos to, and which I now had poised to upload everything to the World Wide Web.

"STOP!"

I yelled at all of the Akatsuki, as they had now tracked me down due to Deidara's yelling and Tobi's wails of despair.

"If you don't let me watch this video, all of this, the wedding, the karaoke, the weird food requests, the bunny outfit, and the money fetish confession, they're all going on the internet."

Everyone froze, and it was all silent and I was just about to click play on the final video when Tobi piped up-

"Kasai-san what's the internet?"

"TOBI YOU IDIOT, SHUT UP UN!"

And all hell broke loose.

-Chapter end-

Ok so a shorter chapter that isn't really fantastic, I hope it's funny. Um next chapter will be better, and up next week. Also please review this, or PM me or anything, even to tell me that you hate this chapter, to tell me that you would have my babies for being the aweosmest writer ever, or to tell me that 10 chapters is too many for this fanfiction and I wasted a minute of your life when you read some of my . Ok thanks!


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